I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
