At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
