I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
