i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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