Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
