trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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