is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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