I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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