AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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