you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
