Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
