Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
