...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
