their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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