I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize