I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
