Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
