dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
