Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize