We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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