i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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