what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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