thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
