Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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