I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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