I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
