Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
