Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
