he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize