Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
