It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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