He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
