So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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