I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When are your genitals available?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dicks are not precious.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
