Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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