My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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