I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
