I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
