you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
