wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
