PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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