we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
