guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
