they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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