Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
