We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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