What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I die, sorry about rent.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
