oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
