office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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