so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
