i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
