Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Even my vagina gasped.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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