She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize