I need help removing her.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
