I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize