Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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