I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
