So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
