..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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