Banned from zoo.
Again?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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