Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i came on her dog
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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