you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
