South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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