So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
